i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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