ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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