found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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