Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.

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(732): soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm. http://tfl.nu/dqxm

Replies (12) Good night (4385) Bad night (814)
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(253): View more from Washington

when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot

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(253): when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot http://tfl.nu/f16k

Replies (10) Good night (718) Bad night (3470)
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(818): View more from California

So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

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(818): So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice http://tfl.nu/dh5p

Replies (94) Good night (9025) Bad night (856)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

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(203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7

Replies (161) Good night (2318) Bad night (36183)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.

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(918): The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals. http://tfl.nu/o5rq

Replies (4) Good night (2212) Bad night (1816)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.

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(317): Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays. http://tfl.nu/4yhe

Replies (9) Good night (1685) Bad night (1032)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..

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(203): I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground.. http://tfl.nu/w7v0

Replies (2) Good night (1139) Bad night (560)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex

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(403): Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex http://tfl.nu/ohy9

Replies (13) Good night (2080) Bad night (617)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends

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(609): Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends http://tfl.nu/v4m8

Replies (11) Good night (560) Bad night (1450)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell

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(775): He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/4swv

Replies (11) Good night (2055) Bad night (491)
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(718): View more from New York

With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult

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(718): With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult http://tfl.nu/nn1s

Replies (7) Good night (693) Bad night (383)
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(515): View more from Iowa

We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place

(1-515): View more from Iowa

I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck

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(515): We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place (1-515): I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/93u8

Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (305)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.

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(970): Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/bzxi

Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (453)
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(251): View more from Alabama

My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.

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(251): My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult. http://tfl.nu/4jpl

Replies (0) Good night (604) Bad night (199)
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(660): View more from Missouri

He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.

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(660): He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/eb59

Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (276)

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