dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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