A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.