Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He passed out mid-signature
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.