I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.