if i can run in heels then i can drive
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
