I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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