Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize