I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
