So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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