24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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