I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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