Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize