I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
