I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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