thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
