You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize