i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
