he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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