Im at strip club and am horny
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
