Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
