I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
