i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
