White coat. Heels.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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