my vag is so smooth its legendary
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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