oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
