I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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