I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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