Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
