Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
