just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
