you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
