I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
did you just send me my own nude
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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