i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
