i would punch a child for taco bell
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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