so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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