very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
