Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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