Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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