Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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