hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
