if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
