just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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