try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
