oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
