Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
