Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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