This is not my ceiling
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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