Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
only if we run a train.
done.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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