I think I am morally bankrupt
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
