He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
