is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
