Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
