Don't you send me to vm
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize