how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
