im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
