ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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