so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
