The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize