One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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