You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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